Death

I’ve had very few near-death experiences in my lifetime.  This weekend, I think I tripled the count.  A couple of friends and I traveled to Southern Utah to Zion National Park.  We drove for four(ish) hours arriving at the perfect time to nourish and strengthen our bodies with some delicious edibles from the Pizza Factory in St. George.  We then decided to cap off the night with some nostalgic entertainment by going to watch the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. (The plot was average, but the graphics were incredible.)  My friend, Jon was nice enough to talk his Grandma into offering us a place to stay.  She lives in a nice community for people over 55 years of age.  So, after a fun filled night with an early bed time, we arose bright and early to the lingering smell of Old Spice and Bengay that permeated the musty clubhouse where we had slumbered the night away.  We walked down to Jon’s Grandmother’s house, only to be overcome by a breakfast fit for a king.  We finished off our feast of eggs, sausage, waffles and every sort of beverage imaginable before heading off to Zion to begin a long and eventful day of hiking.

We decided to start off our day of adventures with a hike up Angel’s Landing (notice how the websites mentions death multiple times when describing the hike) which, had I known the perils that awaited me beforehand, I probably wouldn’t have participated in without a HECK of a lot of urging and bribery.  The hike is nice and easy for about the first half mile.  After that half mile, you round a corner and are confronted with a series of steep switchbacks which, besides being a little hard on my out-of-shape legs, wasn’t too bad.  When you hit the top of the switchbacks the trail levels out and you have a nice open rest area.  I was thoroughly enjoying myself up to this point.  I was enjoying the scenery and even participatin in some friendly banter with my cohorts.  The panic attack didn’t hit until we had left the rest site and I realized how high up we really were and what lay ahead.  It was like something out of a nightmare. 

Let me try to describe my nightmare to you.  Upon leaving the rest area, one is graced with the view of a very long, very narrow trail that is the EXACT opposite of a hallway.  Not only is the pathway long and narrow, but it is steep.  Instead of walls on each side (like the aforementioned hallway) there was a sheer 1,000+ ft. drop.  The only reassurance present was the thick metal chain embedded in the rock all the way to our final destination.  This chain was my lifeline.  I had a death-grip on that puppy all the way up.  There were various moments throughout the hike where I was urged by those surrounding me to look around at the ‘view’ or the ’scenery’.  The few times I did so were followed by a near necessity for an underwear change. 

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So Funny I’m Nauseous

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything worth laughing at.  Hopefully this post will prove, however, that my life has not been lacking in the humor department.  I recently had the opportunity to go to dinner with my buddy Nate and his girlfriend Megan.  We had a riot of a time.  At first I thought it would be a lame night.  I had the feeling that I would be sitting with them all evening being disgusted while watching them flirt with one another as the third wheel.  I had forgotten that Nate and Megan are cool, and therefore would not neglect me (I also have a knack for making myself ‘un-neglectable.’)   We made our way over to a local Mexican restaurant to nourish and strengthen our bodies.  Throughout our visit together we shared alot of laughs.  I’ve noticed that for some reason things are just funnier when you are around good friends.  I, in particular, was on a roll that night.  I don’t know what it was, but even I thought I was funny. After gorging ourselves, we made our way back to Nate’s apartment where the highlight of the night took place.  We sat on the couches (because our bodies were incapable of doing anything else) and just talked.  Somehow I got Megan laughing yet again.  I had her going so hard that she started moaning about her stomach hurting.  Of course this just fed fuel to the flames.  I spouted out some off the wall quote I’d heard from my mother about birth.  She says that, “giving birth is like pooping a pumpkin.”  That did it.  Megan stood up and ran holding her stomach to the bathroom.  Nate and I could hear her through the wall hacking and breathing hard.  Don’t worry, she didn’t throw up… she just came very very close.  Neeldess to say, I was a proud man.  I felt terrible in that moment, yet there was a slight twinge of satisfaction and pride.  I have made people shoot milk and other assorted beverages out their noses.  I have probably even made some pee in their pants a little bit, but never in my wildest dreams did I EVER think that I would make someone laugh so hard that they would become nauseous.  I am a funny funny man.

3 comments.

Sorry…

Hey everyone. Sorry if you all tried to get onto my site over the past 20 hours or so. I had to bring it down to make some changes. Hopefully it didn’t complicate anyone’s life too much.

-Bags

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G Love

I made another new wallpaper.  This one didn’t take near as much time as the last one (thus, it may look a little crappier) but to be honest, just doing this stuff is helping me get used to navigating myself around the Photoshop program.

This image is a tribute to one of my favorite artists, G Love of G Love and Special Sauce.   He is the most unique artist I’ve come across in a long long time.  His music is a mixture of funk, rap, soul, blues, folk music and a splash of of R&B. His latest album is entitled “G Love’s Lemonade.”  It’s a tribute to the good ole’ relaxed, laid back summertime feelings.  You can chek out some of the songs on his myspace site. Lemonade just makes me think of the good summer days when you chill at the park or watch the sunset on your porch sipping down a cool beverage.  I hope this image will brighten up the monitors of some of you who are sick and tired of this prolonged winter we are having.  I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for some warm weather, swimming pools and barbecues.

If you want to see a larger image of G Love’s Tribute you can click here.

4 comments.

The Powerless

About a week and a half ago I had the opportunity to go watch a concert put on at Velour.  The band I went to see (I had never heard before) was by far the best band that played that night, and therefore the only band worthy of commentary.  The reason I attended the concert was because the bassist in the band (Sam) is a coworker of mine.  Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised by the mad skills that The Powerless in it’s entirety possessed.  They have a sound reminiscent of Incubus with a dash of the Foo Fighters and maybe a sprits of old school Third Eye Blind.  Not only did I enjoy the concert, but I may have become a happy addition to their crazy, underwear flinging cult following.  Their CD (which they gave out for free at the concert) has frequented my CD player over the past week and a half. The Powerless’ true talent is demonstrated on their album by their ability to sing ballads with tracks such as “Throes” or “Nobody Cares” as well as their ability to rock out in “Wench” or ”Little Miss Tempest”.  It’s nice to see a local band demonstrate their diversity and musical talent by avoiding the clonable sound of such bands as Blink 182 or Nickleback. For anyone who is up for a refreshing taste of local genius, their CD entitled Dissappointment is up on their website to download for free. I recommend it.

If the link to the CD doesn’t work, click on the Music link in the upper right hand corner of the page.  The MP3 Tracks should appear below the text.

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