It’s A Leap Year

Yes, today is the 29th of February. This means… well, absolutely nothing to me, except for the fact that today should be March 1st.

My new roommate moved in today. He’s 18, and he wears a bandanna in his back pocket and a super hero t-shirt. Expect some good stories.

Speaking of super heroes. Check this out. If you have even the smallest interest in either super heroes, action movies or billionaires who are freakin’ nuts, this clip is for you.

Lastly, I am collecting “Worst Date Ever” stories. I have received a handful over the past few days. If you have ever been on a date, and it sucked, I want to hear about it (preferably with details). Leave it in the comments, or just e-mail it to me. If you don’t have my e-mail address, well, we’ll work that out later.

2 comments.

The Cheeze

This video made me laugh out loud… twice (and that’s saying something). That automatically makes it worth posting. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

no comments yet.

Dishes

It seems to me as of late that there has been an abnormally concentrated “I hate relationships” feeling floating around amongst many of my friends and companions.

Last night I had the blessed opportunity to accompany two very special young ladies on a therapeutic escapade to the nearby Walmart. Both girls have been going through what I would like to call a “rough spot” with the boys. They both needed to get out, do some shopping and clear their heads. For some unspoken reason, I was invited. Maybe it’s cause I’m the ‘nice guy,’ or maybe they just needed some target practice… whatever the reason, I went.

I could tell the girls were exceptionally emotional, and that the evening was going to be a complete blog-worth adventure solely by the driving. As we rolled up the street bordering the Walmart, the girl in front of the wheel turned on her left blinker. She said, “This is how I get to Walmart, right?”

“Um…” my friend in shotgun stammered nervously.

“No,” I replied. “The Walmart is actually the large, football-stadium-sized building directly to your right.” This comment was directly followed with a fair amount of nervous laughter.

We parked the car, narrowly avoiding taking the life of a plethora of pedestrians, and hustled inside.

As we wondered through the labyrinth of stained floors, generic food brands and funny smelling people, our cart began to fill. After a good 45 minutes (a reasonable amount of time to spend at the Wally World for three people), the cart neared its capacity, and we were on the verge of wrapping up our shopping experience. We came to a consensus that we would leave after we picked up our last needed item… the plate.

We spent a good 20 minutes just searching for the plate aisle (which is on the other side of the store from the food… WTF?). As I passed a tower of greeting cards, I caught a glimpse of a plate and rounded a corner… when what to my wondering eyes should appear? A nearly infinite selection of plates, bowls and utensils. The girls squealed with glee as a little part of me died inside.

“OH! Look how cute this one is!”

“Oh, I don’t like black… or white… and that one is too expensive, but I WANT IT!”

As my manhood began to work its way into my stomach and my consciousness began to fade, the sensitive man inside of me just flat out keeled over (at this point, I lost responsibility for any and all of my actions… I don’t think the girls knew this). I’m quite sure that somewhere along the line something came out of my mouth or was read in my body language that I wasn’t in the mood to spend a solid hour fawning over how ‘cute’ the plates were, while making suggestions as to which one would look best with the motif of the apartment. As the boredom overtook me, the girls quickly became irritated with my attitude. (To be honest, I don’t even know why I was invited there in the first place. I figured the last person on the earth they’d want to see would be one in possession of a Y chromosome, given the circumstances.)

Anyway, after roughly an hour of what seemed like death, the decision was made. Walmart did NOT have the right plates.

“We should check Target!”

“We should take the man home first.”

“Yeah, he’s no fun.”

Ladies, I may be a good listener, and I’m happy to help you work things out when they get complicated. It’s satisfying for me to be a good friend. But by golly, shopping for plates must just bring out the stereotypical, jerk-faced douche bag of a man in me. I guess I can’t put plate shopping on my ‘Husband Material Resume.’

8 comments.

I Love Squidoo

Over the past few weeks, I have become increasingly obsessed with Squidoo. If you don’t know what Squidoo is, it is basically a MySpace used for educational purposes. Their philosophy is that “Everybody is an expert on something.” There are hundreds, even thousands of pages (lenses) popping up every day on different topics from elections to laptops to types of avocados.

The lens I have been working all day today is about life in Provo, UT. Take a look at it (especially if you’ve lived there), read some of the stories, look at some of the pictures and leave a comment or suggestion. I would really appreciate the feedback.

Here are a few of the other lenses I have been working on, if you’re interested (some of them obviously have a longer way to go than others):

• Underground Music - A list of up-and-coming bands. Vote for your favorite band, or music video.
• Brian Regan - A tribute to an amazingly funny comedian.
• Emergency Preparedness - A not-so-boring take on food storage and emergency preparedness. Don’t read this one unless you are a cynic or have a good sense of humor. (Don’t skip the product descriptions either.)
• Chris Merritt - A highly underdeveloped lens for one of my favorite musicians.
• Lindy Hop - A work in progress for the best dance in the world. For any of you dancers out there, please add suggestions, videos and/or comments if you have a minute.

If you haven’t checked out Squidoo, you should do so immediately. It can be a lot of fun… and you can make some sweet cash off of it.

2 comments.

Twitter

I’m officially a member of the Twitter community. I told myself that the social media obsession would end with my repeated daily Facebook checkups. But no, I am now getting text messages from friends at every hour of the day letting me know that they will be watching “Lost” tonight, or doing somersaults or some crazy crap.

Looks like I am kissing my privacy goodbye.

no comments yet.

There’s Something About Money

This is a copy of a handout that I received in my Personal Finance class. My professor developed the information about five years ago, and gave me permission in class to publish it on my blog yesterday. This is one of those rare times that I felt that something a professor gave me was actually a) worth reading, and b) worth sharing. So here is your…

Personal Financial Bill of Rights

1. You have the right to make minimum monthly payments on your credit card debt.
2. You have the right to continually try to spend 100% of your annual income.
3. You have the right to be continually in debt.
4. You have the right to have a negative net worth at retirement age and work until you die.
5. You have the right to spend foolishly on luxuries, and neglect necessities.
6. You have the right to pay$200.00 for a product which you could have purchased for $100.00.
7. You have the right to have a FICO score of “300″.
8. You have the right to buy insurance you don’t need,can’t afford, and can never collect on.
9. You have the right to invest in scams and lose large amounts of money.
10. You have the right to go bankrupt - several times.
11. You have the right to pay more taxes than you owe.
12. You have the right to try to live on Social Security payments in your old age.
13. You have the right to pay 36% annual interest (or more) on borrowed money.
14. You have the right to be financially unable to shop for and buy the things you really want.
15. You have the right to be financially unable to afford a hobby.
16. You have the right to be financially unable to afford Christmas and birthday gifts for your children, grandchildren or extended family.
17. You have the right to be financially unable to leave your children any inheritance.
18. You have the right to have bill collectors calling yor home and your employer.
19. You have the right to have property repossessed because you can’t pay for it.
20. You have the right to keep your children out of extra-curricular school activities because you can’t afford the special fees.
21. You have the right to avoid medical and dental care because you can’t afford it.
22. You have the right to mismanage your income, expenses and budget.
23. You have the right to be financially unable to give to charitable causes.
24. You have the right to pay 520% interest on post-dated check loans and 340% interest on car title loans.
25. You have the right to keep yourself and your family in poverty by continually making poor financial decisions.
26. You have the right to co-sign loans and be forced to pay other people’s debts.
27. In short, you have the right to make a complete mess of your financial life and live with the consequences.

-Professor Nolan Lickey, 2003

Growing up is scary. Knowing that there are a LOT of people out there looking to take advantage of you is even scarier. This is why I hide ALL of my money under my mattress, so nobody else can have it. So far it seems to be working great.

1 comment.

I Thought He Was Smarter

My brother Joshua is one of those kids who does a really good job at making other people feel like underachievers. To explain my point, I will give you a few examples. He always gets a perfect GPA. He is good at everything he attempts. Last year, he tried out for the soccer team, made all the cuts, and then just didn’t show up to the last day of tryouts. Later, the coach approached him wondering why didn’t show up. She had planned on putting his name on the roster. “Oh, I just wanted to see if I could make it. I would rather run track,” he responded. He is the leader of a statewide youth service program that is attempting to end world hunger, and he practices the piano for fun.

Up until yesterday, I thought he was a smart kid… then he sent me this:

I want you to pay attention to the 2 min 30 (ish) seconds point in the film. This is my smart brother attempting a 360 while going off of a jump on a sled, on his knees, at a velocity of what appears to be 30 miles per hour. Rather than spin, he decided to bury himself head first, much like an ostrich, in the snow. I think he’s lucky his head didn’t snap off his neck like a Maraschino Cherry off it’s stem after I snatch it off the top of a friends ice cream sundae.

I don’t know whether I’m slightly jealous, or just shocked at how he worked up the balls to do this, but I really do think it’s all pretty cool… and I’m glad he’s not dead… though he probably will be dead after the Mom reads this post.

3 comments.

The Shirt That Wouldn’t Fit

It’s not very often that I’m gifted something. Yesterday, however, I was a happy man as I drove away from the IHOP parking lot with a new button-up shirt from Banana Republic in my possession.

My buddy Nate had purchased the shirt, only to realize that it was far too small to adequately cover up his girth. I’m sure he thought this was a result of the many recent hours spent at both the local gym and the climbing gym. Seeing as I am a not-as-in-shape, skinnier-than-him person, he passed the shirt off to me.

At first glance, the shirt is pretty much awesome. It is white with alternating light and dark blue pinstripes. The cuffs appear to be amazingly roll up-able (I can’t stand it when my wrists feel smothered), and I knew without a doubt that this puppy was going to make me irresistible (or at least less resistible) with the ladies. (Trust me, anything would be an improvement.)

This morning, I awoke to find my new treasure hanging on the back of my desk chair. I decided that I couldn’t wait any longer… not even till I washed the nighttime nasties off my body. I had to try it on! I slipped it over my shoulders, and found the sleeves to be oddly clingy. I proceeded to reach for the buttons. Before today, I hadn’t realized that I am a creature of habit. I button my shirts from the top down. As I reached for the second-to-the-top button, my right hand found nothing but air. I was slightly perplexed as I ran my hand up and down the seam in the search for a button. My button quest remained fruitless. I then noticed that the buttons were on the other side of the shirt. “That’s odd… I’ve never had to button a shirt with my left hand before,” I said to myself.

After a few minutes of coaching and building some good muscle memory, I trained my left hand to button up my shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror in a state of confusion. It just didn’t fit. I distinctly remember seeing the large “M” on the collar of the shirt, signifying that it was in fact built for a medium sized body like my own. The shirt was just tight in all the wrong places… and it didn’t sport any buttons from my sternum area all the way up to the neck.

As my waist area put an unexplainable strain upon the lowermost buttons of the shirt, and my scraggly chest hair protruded far more substantially than anyone (including myself) wanted to see from the inexplicably low neck line, I began to put the pieces together. This shirt was not ill-fitting because of my sudden increase of muscle mass, or the enormous proportions of leftover chocolate cake from my roommate’s birthday party that I’ve been consuming over the past week. This shirt was different. It was unlike any other shirt in my wardrobe. It was a WOMAN’S SHIRT!

Yes, my friends… the shirt that I was so excited about — the one that kept me from getting a full nights sleep — the shirt that was gifted to me by my best friend was, in fact, a girl shirt.

This is just further proof that God has a sense of humor, and that Nathan Bagley’s life is a joke.

P.S. If you are a girl, and wear a medium top, let me know, I have a shirt to gift to you ;).

7 comments.

Kid Theodore

I am hooked on the lyrics of this song by one of my favorite local bands, Kid Theodore. I first heard these guys open at the Ben Kweller concert last year. I thought (besides Ben) they were the best part of the show. I liked the poetic message in this particular song enough that I thought I should share it with you. The song is called “This Scene Is a Play.” I’m interested to know what ya’ll think of it.

I have heard very few songs that do such a good job at capturing a feeling through both lyrics and sound as this. I think I’ve listened to it 10 times in the past week. It’s basically an ‘eargasm’ for me.

You can check out some of their music on their Purevolume page here… and I recommend you do.

I’m sorry my darling, but this is the scene when we fall in love.
You’ve misread your script and the director has said that the show must go on.
So I’ll ad lib this scene just for you.
Though I don’t know quite what to do.
And I can’t move on in just one night.

I’m sorry my darling, the stage lights are bright and they’re blinding me.
This scene is insane, your words are in vain. Yes it’s killing me.
But I’ll ad lib this scene just for you.
Though I don’t know quite what to do.
And I can’t move on in just one night.

I’m sorry my darling but this is the scene when we carry on.
My heart has been told, “Excuse me my morn.” As I carry on.
So I’ll ad lib this scene just for you.
Though I don’t know quite what to do.
And I can’t move on in just one night.

I know it’s a little somber, but sometimes you just feel this way, don’t ya?

2 comments.

This Is Why I Don’t Spend A Million Dollars On Anything…

David Garrett, a male model and world renowned violinist, fell down a flight of stairs on December 27th and broke his fiddle. No, this isn’t some sort of juvenile innuendo, he really broke it. What’s worse… the fiddle was over 200 years old, and he paid $1 million for it in 2003!

Apparently he was toting it on his shoulder when he fell down a flight of cement stairs. Hopefully he didn’t damage his model parts as well, or he won’t have a way to pay for a new $1 million violin.

I guess it just goes to show that all male model/child prodigies who play solos with legendary symphonies and make more money in one performance than I have made in my whole life don’t have it as good as everyone thinks. See, I don’t have to worry about breaking a million dollar anything… and also, I know how to walk down stairs.

no comments yet.