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Archives
Humorously Depressing Image of the Day - Day 30
If you ever thought you were in the wrong place at the wrong time… well, it could have been worse.
Humorously Depressing Image of the Day - Day 29
And now, I share with you my worst nightmare…
As the sun peeked through the blinds, the haze of sleep slowly faded as I drifted back into consciousness. A bird chirping on the window seal, and judging by the bright blue sky that penetrated the haze of my room, today was going to be beautiful. I stretched my arms and legs, yawned and rolled over to meet her gaze…
I’ll bet I had you fooled. You totally thought that it wasn’t a nightmare, then you saw the picture and you were like, “Bags, I thought you were teasing.”
Come on people! I told you it was a nightmare!
Thank you Rosie and Photoshop for the penultimate Humorously Depressing Image of the Day.
Humorously Depressing Image of the Day - Day 28
This kid is lucky to be alive. I don’t know how he did it and still manages to have a smile on his face. (Read the sub-text carefully.)
Humorously Depressing Image of the Day - Day 27
“CLAY AIKEN!” Did that make you smile? Did it make you cringe? Did it make you cringe which looked like a smile? It made me do all three.
My Friend Bob
My cousin, Garrett Smith (of Garrett Smith Productions) is the only real friend I’ve had since childhood that isn’t part of my immediate family. We’ve gone on vacations together, played sports together, suffered through scout camps together, and our mothers even used to bathe us together. If that’s not bonding, I don’t know what is.
Recently, Garrett invited me over to check out his new ‘crib’. His old place was in a more run down part of Salt Lake, and he and his wife felt that it was about time to upgrade to a more accommodating living situation.
Upon entering their home, I realized that the smell alone trumped their old place completely. They had a kitchen that was bigger than a closet, a beautiful family room and even a studio upstairs for their photography business.
After making it through the tour, they rewarded me for my patience, and let me play with their frogs, Yoshi and Bob. As I sat admiring all that the frogs were capable of (changing color, jumping, sticking to walls and everything else) they explained to me that Yoshi was the smart frog and Bob was the dumb one. This was evidenced as we placed the two frogs into a container full of crickets. Yoshi promptly jumped at a cricket, consumed it and climbed out of the container. Bob, on the other hand, jumped at a cricket and smashed his head into the wall. Apparently he has a flat nose as a result of his tendency to do this. It took Bob about 3 times as long to eat a cricket as it did Yoshi. We then had to help Bob out of the container full of crickets, cause apparently he doesn’t know which way is up.
After taking him out of the container, who did he jump to? Yup! You guessed it! I scampered right over to me… or my crotch rather. Apparently like really does attract like.
Here are some pictures Garrett took of Bob molesting me.
Not only does Garrett take pictures of crazy tree frogs molesting his cousin, but he takes some of the most beautiful pictures I’ve ever seen. He has a style that and talent that you just won’t don’t get from your best friend’s digital camera. The best way to explain is by just checking out his work.
I asked him to send me a few of his favorite pictures, many of which are my favorites of his work as well. Here they are! (Click on them to see a larger view.)
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I love the ‘frozen in time’ effect of this picture.
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Below is a couple standing in front of a totally awesome tree.
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Below is a more stylized shot of a bride and groom.
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The last bridal shot, here, is by far my favorite. It gives me warm fuzzies just looking at it.
If you have interest in using Garrett’s mad photography skills for a wedding, a reception, a sporting event, a family photo, school pictures or any other event you can contact him at (801)706-4339 or (801)809-7714. Check out his website to see more samples of his work. Let him know I sent you, and he’ll probably give you a great discount off of his already awesome prices.
My Brother, The Male Nurse
This weekend the family gathered together at my grandparent’s house for a barbecue. As we sat and conversed upon the lives of all present, I realized that announcing my brother’s current academic pursuits to the fam would likely take some of the heat off of myself.
About a month ago, my brother told me that he had decided to major in nursing. Deep inside I was proud of him. It’s a tough profession based around helping others, and one where men are much needed.
On the surface, however, I couldn’t help but give him a hard time. I mean, my brother is like 6′ 2″ and weighs around 220 lbs. Imagining him, in all of his scruffiness, towering over hoards of petite young ladies in multi-colored scrubs does more than bring a smirk to my face.
Upon my announcement that Nursing was the path that my brother had chosen, the attention of the room quickly shifted from me to him. People started asking questions with the desire to find out more. The family was surprisingly supportive. It was exactly the reaction I was hoping for.
My brother then glared at me and let me know that he had recently changed his major. Despite the change of majors, the questions kept a-comin’. The conversation escalated when my grandma announced, “Oh honey, that’s wonderful that you want to be a nurse. Which reminds me, I have a magazine I want to give you.”
I quickly responded, “Is it Better Homes & Gardens?”
I still can’t feel my arm…
Humorously Depressing Image of the Day - Day 26
Although we are at the end of April and May is quickly approaching, I still fear that something like this could happen to me. It seems that on the days that I keep my windows rolled up, I am greeted with a blast of 300 degree air as I climb into my car after work. However, if I decide to crack the windows to allow some air circulation, it’s likely that something like this will happen.
I swear, Murphy’s Law (Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong) was patterned after my life. Please keep your fingers crossed that next time my windows are down this doesn’t happen…
Humorously Depressing Image of the Day - Day 24
Be sure to watch the Jazz smoke the Rockets tonight! Go Jazz go!
