Another Cheerful Edition of “I’d Rather…”

I woke up to more snow this morning. I hate snow. I hear the saying “when Hell freezes over” used in jest to say something will never happen. This, to me, is very confusing as I believe that Hell absolutely MUST be some sort of arctic tundra that never breaks the temperature of freezing. If it’s not, and by some crazy stroke of fate it turns out to be some sort of fire and brimstone desert-like location as has been predicted, and heaven is the cold place… well… you can probably place a pretty safe bet as to where I’d prefer to be.

The following is a list of things that I would rather do than wake up to see yet another gray, gloomy sky with frozen bits of hydrogen dioxide falling from the sky:

• I’d rather glue my butt cheeks together.
• I’d rather go to hair school.
• I’d rather serve another mission.
• I’d rather get hassled about my relationship status by my entire extended family.
• I’d rather lick a cactus.
• I’d rather eat lima beans. Ew. *Bleh!*
• I’d rather roll around in a large vat of honey and then run through a bear cage.

And there we have it. You officially have an idea of how much I loathe the snow… especially at this time of year. I loathe it with my very core. It makes my toes curl just thinking about it.

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