I love seen what Google recommends from time to time. Today, I wanted to see what people regret… here’s what I found. Kind of disappointing if you ask me.
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I Love The Internet So Much
It’s not smart to tease someone who is good at the internet.
Yesterday, my friend Melinda and I were joking around with each other. It was all fun and games… until she attributed a Black Eyed Peas quote to me on her Facebook page. The quote had something to do with my humps… my humps, my humps, my humps.
So, today I decided to own her name. And now I do. You can check out Melinda’s new blog… here.
And this is why it’s important to own your own name on the interwebs… and to play nice with nerds.
(I love you Melinda!)
Cellphone Fiasco
A few years ago, I decided to venture forth into the Arctic Tundraesque winter weather in Provo, Utah to hit up a hot tub. Being the desperately hopeful young that I was, I took my phone along with me, just in case a girl called while I was out soaking my loins. (And trust me, the odds were far greater that I would get a call from a supermodel than meet an attractive model in the sausage-fest that is every Provo hot tub.)
As I plunged myself into the warm mystery fluids, I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Yes, my phone was still in my pocket… and it was no longer a phone.
For this very reason, I had the utmost pity for the girl at the pool this week.
Some of my good friends recently got married. They are currently living in less-than-ideal conditions in an extended stay motel. (They will not appreciate my repeating that information in a public forum, but so be it.) They come over to my pad from time to time to indulge in the awesome amenities.
On this specific occasion, I was running lase, so the happy couple just snatched up the key to the pool and awaited my arrival in the steaming waters of life. They were joined by a pair of hormonally overactive teenage couples.
When I showed up to join my friends, I realized that by the time I got ready and made it down to the pool area, it would almost be closing time, and not only would I have missed out on a nice soak, but I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to converse with my peeps. I decided to forgo the swimsuit and just hang out poolside so I could at least reap some benefit from my visit.
I meandered towards the chair that was closest to the tub. I picked up the towels on the chair, assuming they belonged to my friend when I heard a shriek.
Time began moving in slow motion.
As my eyes glanced down I saw it, spinning in mid-air towards the water. One of our handsy tweens had stuck her phone in her towel and it was plummeting towards the waters of cellphones past.
I cringed.
Instinctively my friend dove, hands outstretched towards the phone. As the device pierced water level, my normally less-than-coordinated friend swatted the phone in the air and then grabbed it, tossed it back to me and yelled, “Pull out the battery! Hurry!”
I quickly dismantled the phone, thereby rescuing it from any serious damage.
Hooray for miracles!
I would not be surprised if the owner of the phone pooped a little in her pants during the ordeal. I know I did. And now I understand why they put chlorine in the pool.
I’m sorry cell phone girl, for doing that to you.
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