I just got back from a very cold, very slippery, very blizzardy drive through the canyon from the Sundance Resort where my office party was held. It was a lovely evening full of delicious food, warm conversation and single awareness. Unfortunately, there was not enough space to house all of the employees if they each brought a guest. So there I sat, awkwardly surrounded by a bunch of couples in love, wondering what I would say to my guest had I brought one.
I wolfed down my food like an Asian at a hot dog eating contest, and then went back for seconds. I think I had eaten two plates of deliciousness before most people had even sat down at their tables. I’m fairly sure that the reason for this is that my mouth is normally more busy talking at the dinner table. Not having anything to say gave my mouth all of this free time to stuff itself. Needless to say, I now have more stretch marks than Rosie O’Donnell.
As dinner winded down, one of my bosses busted out the Christmas Bingo. I was excited, because Christmas Bingo is a tradition in my family, and this year I was unable to participate. I also assumed that the presents at this party were slightly more desirable than the Nerf Guns and bags of Chicklets that my family would pawn off.
The rules of Christmas Bingo worked like this: When one got a “Bingo” they could pick a present from under the tree whilst everyone else continued playing. If you didn’t like your present, you were permitted to take it back upon the achievement of a second “Bingo”. As my luck would have it, I was one of the last employees present to align my beans with glee and proceed to pick my present. I searched through the remaining gifts for the heaviest one. I ran back to my seat, tore off the paper and opened the box…
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Seasons 8, 9 and 10 of Friends!
I laughed out loud. It’s just my luck to get what was very likely the most female oriented gift of the lot. The only gift that I would deem more feminine that I saw was a chocolate fountain. Needless to say, I could not find another employee who wanted to trade away their MP3 players, The Office DVD’s or gift certificates for my amazing collection of one of the most famous sitcoms of all time.
As I drove home in the snow storm, I pondered on my gift. Maybe it’s a sign from God. Tonight… he gave me friends. And now that I have them, I don’t even know if I want them! Ha ha ha! Life is full of ironies.
Let me close by saying that in no way am I ungrateful for my bosses. They threw an awesome party that was really a lot of fun. They are very selfless and kind hearted men. I just found it funny that I’m the one who ended up leaving with three boxes of friends when I’m the one who showed up friendless.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find out if Chandler and Monica get married or not…
Happy Holidays to all!
Happy »« Sarcastic Wednesday
but if you prefer those that are in a boxed dvd instead…