Hate Letter
Sometimes being single sucks. Normally it’s those times when you look around and see that everyone has what you want, but can’t seem to obtain. Graduation. A career. A wife. A girlfriend. I know that it’s not in the obtaining of ‘things’ that we achieve happiness, but sometimes I think that they at least help.
Ok, I changed my mind. It’s not the being single that is so terrible, it’s more the relentless, incessant barrage of dating train wrecks. I know it sounds weird coming from a dude, but bare with me.
Yesterday I was talking to a female friend of mine. She was telling me about how she had recently worked up the guts to ask out a dude, and how disappointed she was because she felt like the date wasn’t going to lead to anything.
“It was hard!” she said, “I had to get up the guts to ask him out, then I had to ask him out, then I had to actually plan something fun, and decide on what to eat and then make it all happen. The guys have it tougher than we think.”
I just laughed and rolled my eyes. Dang straight we have it tough, sista’.
Now, imagine doing all of that once a week. *Sigh Of Frustration/Embarassment* Not only do we have to continually be courageous and perseverant, spontaneous and rich, but we have to put up with girls like this. (You HAVE to click on that link and keep your speakers on. Not only is it one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever had the privilege of partaking of on the intertubes, but it’s a very accurate representation of a very large percentage of crazed females that I have had the pleasure of taking out.) It makes me want to jab a rusty spoon into my eye socket and rinse it out with lemon juice.
Tonight I watched a move called Bride Wars about two best friends who are basically forced into unwillingly sharing their perfect wedding day. The movie revolves around the attempted sabotage of each others wedding to avoid sharing the special day with one another. What ensues is the destruction of their friendship by constant and repetitive stabs in the back and low blows that make the Batman/Joker relationship look like a picnic in the park.
Of course, you know that the friendship will be salvaged in the end, but… BUT (big emphasis on the ‘but’) not before one of the girls breaks up with her fiance only moments before the wedding. And it’s not even the mean girl that kills it. It’s the one who starts out all nice an likable, but gets transformed into some crazed, vengeful beast due to the stresses of the wedding plotting (not planning… plotting) against her ex-bestie.
By the end of the movie, both girls are blissfully happy and in love, but nobody stops to think of that guy who had his future and self esteem completely demolished on the day of his wedding. Nobody ever says, “Hey, I wonder what happened to ole’ whats-his-face… think he ever got married?” Nope. He’s just supposed to play like it’s no big deal. Pick up where he left off and do it with a smile.
Our society is so messed up.
(Also, I’m not bitter. This was all purely an observation… and I’m a little bitter.)
Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Girls are freaking insane!
Wait just a minute here. How many real examples do you have of the girl dumping the boy right before the wedding? ‘Cause I can think of 3 off the top of my head where the guy dropped the girl less than 2 weeks before the wedding. Just sayin’.
P.S. Remember who asked you to Holidate? And that wasn’t so bad now was it?
Alright, I’ve just gotta say I hear a lot of guys complain about the psycho chicks they ask out. Maybe if 80% of the guys stopped asking out the same 20% of the female population they keep asking out, they would find different results. Sorry some of us aren’t “hot” enough for you.
Linds: I love you so much. <3
Also Bitter: I’m not as shallow as you might think… most guys aren’t.
pretty much the best letter reading i’ve ever heard. i think it all evens out in the end. sucks for guys and chicks equally.
Bags I’ve got your back. I’ll admit I could probably step it up in my dating efforts, but it has certainly not been an easy thing to attempt thanks to the conditioning of girls. As a matter of fact, a coworker of mine told me that she pretty much based whether or not she would go on a second date with a guy depending on where he took her to dinner.
I’ll admit, I can be shallow at times, but girls have their own superficial requirements. Smitty just purchased a truck, lifted and all. Girls check him out repeatedly now. I asked him if he had the same results when he drove around in the Civic. “Not at all” was his response.
I’m not trying to state that guys are better than girls or anything like that. I feel that the guilt can go both ways. All I ask is that girls cut guys a little more slack. We’re not all Edwards. Try giving us Scott’s and Bag’s a chance. And girls, not all guys want to marry supermodels.
The truck story makes me laugh. When I see a truck like that, I may check the guy out, but I am almost always thinking “Awww, he’s compensating for something. Poor boy has a small penis.” I would much rather date a civic driver. That said, I so don’t care about cars. And Edward is creepy… like stalker creepy. And I could never date someone who sparkles. I like my guys glitter free!
Cassie thank you for your response. Haha so you mean compensating like when girls stuff their bras?
Hmm. This is an interesting dichotomy. Guys say girls need to be more forgiving and cut them some slack, which we probably do. Girls say guys need to be less shallow and step up to the plate. Again, it couldn’t hurt. But these are the stereotypical members of the opposite sex that are being referred to. There are exceptions, like Bags
, which shouldn’t be criticized for the problems of the collective.
I can’t help but wonder how much of the “suffering” is self-inflicted. You don’t get asked out or don’t like the people you have dated? Try new things to meet new people. Be a mature adult and accept some responsibility. Work on accepting and loving yourself for who you are. You’re a unique, talented, beautiful individual who deserves to be happy. You just may have to go make it happen.
Bags….my dear boy. Again it’s a problem so many have..on both sides. Dating does suck, which is why people get married!! You still have to come up with dates, but it’s on a different scale. Not having a perspective from the guy point of view, I’ll give you my girl perspective on my own gender.
I’ve found that girls can be catagorized into two groups. Diamonds and pearls. It helps to know what type of gem is right for you. A diamond may not always be a “man’s” best friend.
A diamond type of girl is really not all that attractive in her natural form. She maust be cut, polished and put in just the right setting before she has any beauty.
A pearl type has a beauty that is complete from the inside. She is beautiful just as she is, emanating a natural radiance that requires a simple setting to shine.
Once again it comes to the issue of WHY IS IT that girls who don’t sparkle and shine are ignored and passed over and those who spend hours cutting and polishing to a fake brillance are catered to. I must agree with the above comment that addressed the 80-20 ratio.
Ah well, it gives the pearls more time to grow and be stunning before the are pulled from their shells.
Scott – sort of. I think guys with big trucks are compensating just as much for other guys though where girls usually stuff just to get guys attention, not so much other girls (though we are also pretty much always in competition with each other. Funny thing I’ve noticed among dudes I have known who drive big tucks: the minute they walk in the room where there are other guys, they size them up, puff up their chest and do whatever they can to prove they are more “manly” (some are more subtle about it than others) It’s totally alpha-male posturing and it’s really annoying, but fascinating to watch.
oh im always bitter. its more fun that way. cynical too. cynical is real fun. hahaha “you accidently hugged me!” hahaha that was hilarious.
ya sure guys have it tough, the whole dating scene sucks. that why you just don’t get involved. everything is easier that way.
but if you do choose to get involved in that mess all you have to do is open her door and gently place your hand on her lower back as you guide her in where ever she is going. done. easy. perfect.
and as for the movie thing…well thats why they are called CHICK flicks not DUDE flicks.
My friend James was engaged about 4 years ago. He was about a week away from the wedding when he flew to Europe for a business trip. He had a little trouble getting in touch with his fiance and when he returned to Provo 2 days before the wedding, she had not only called off the wedding but she had canceled everyone from the florist to the caterer. Her reasoning? You didn’t call me to let me know you still wanted to do this or to tell me you still loved me… that poor bastard married her 3 months later, after convincing himself that if he didn’t marry her he would wind up shacked up with someone else in California.
Guys have it rough too.
You watched Bride Wars?
Please tell me you’re joking.
I’m going to ignore you for then next five minutes.