stupid_copsMy little sister is 15, which means she’s a little crazy. You know how it goes, hormones, boys, homework, hormones, makeup, hormones, trying to define yourself while attempting to ignore the world’s efforts to define you. It’s a scary world.

On top of all of that mess, 15-year-olds can now apparently obtain a drivers permit in the wonderful state of Utah. When you’re 15, you’re excited about news like that. When you’re out of high school, you realize how insanely stupid the idea is. I barely trust a 15-year-old with my iPod, let alone my car…

My naive little sister is smart though. She has been waiting to get her permit till she feels prepared. In fact, this weekend, she finally worked up the courage to get behind the wheel.

My dad took her to the driving range behind her school so she could practice familiarizing herself with the all of the levers and pedals required to successfully handle an automobile. As she ventured forth into the maze of squiggly practice lanes a police officer pulled up behind her and flashed his lights.

I can only imagine the scene that immediately transpired.

She panicked (I wouldn’t be surprised if she also peed a little bit in her pants). She locked and unlocked the doors, then rolled down every window in the car but hers, because she was so frazzled that she couldn’t find the right button. My father had to lean over and roll down her window for her.

The officer then proceeded to ask her for her license, registration and insurance. Fifteen-year-old Sarah just started at him as if he were speaking Yiddish. Of course she didn’t have a license, and what is this ‘rej-is-trashun’ of which you speak?

As my sister continued to panic, the officer winked at my dad, as if to include him in the joke. He asked her what she was doing in the parking lot, and she responded that she was practicing her driving. He then asked, “Do you know what the penalty for that is?”

“Uh… no sir.” She called him sir. If you ask me, he didn’t deserve to be called sir. He was picking on my little sister. He deserved to be kicked in the baby maker…

“The penalty is more driving lessons with your dad. Have a good day.”

Needless to say, I don’t think my sister will be driving till she’s 18. This officer not only scared her silly, but he created yet another cop-hater in the world… maybe two.

Hey South Jordan police! Why don’t you do your job and enforce the law instead of picking on little girls on the driving range, and making them cry?

Idiots.