Dear NBA Color Commentators,

Every night you sit there around a table with your old NBA buddies all dressed up in your pastel shirts and high fashion suits and ties that make it look like one of the gays from project runway got you in his clutches before the show. Your job? You reinvent the wheel.

I am curious. Do you ever just sit and listen to the words that come out of your mouth? I’m sure that you do, and that is what is so surprising to me. I mean, honestly, how may ways can you answer the question, “What do the (your favorite team here) need to do to win it?” Let me give you a hint that might save you some air and probably your 3 remaining brain cells. To win any game, all a team needs to do is score more points than the other team! That’s it. End of story.

And this is how you make a living!

I’m amazed at how many people make their living off of speaking when they have nothing important, or even logically coherent to say. Do us all a favor. Cork it and just let us watch the game!

-Bags