Monday night I was able to participate in my own suspense thriller. I was in my car on my way to meet up for dinner with my friends. I was excited because I had just gotten off work. A couple of blocks into my journey I was stopped at a red light with my bumper touching the intersection. When the light went green my male ego kicked in and I put the pedal to the metal. Like most males my age, I didn’t want to be beat off the line, resulting in sudden bursting of my incredibly swollen bubble of “man-pride”. As I made it through the intersection I noticed that my lane (the right lane) would merge with the lane next to me within the next 100 feet or so. The car to my left, however, had the same inflated male ego, and was trying to catch and pass me to compensate for his recent schooling in the art of acceleration by Professor Nate. When my lane disappeared I only had about 3/4 of a car length advantage on the guy. Since I was ‘technically’ in front of him I started to move over into what would now be our shared lane. Instead of tapping his break to allow room, or moving over to the adjoining (and vacant might I add) lane, he jammed his fist into his horn for a good ten seconds allowing me the pleasure of realizing that I had pissed him off. He then flipped on his brights and began tailgating. He followed me for a good mile or so in this fashion. After another half mile, I realized that what this man was doing was incredibly immature and unnecessary. I came to the conclusion that I had two decisions. I could ignore the man, or I could give him something to really be mad about. I went with the latter. I decided that if this man wanted to be mad, I would at least validate his mood. At the next green light, I waited a good 5 seconds before I hit the gas to move forward. I only accelerated to about 20 miles an hour… in a 45 mile per hour zone. I checked my mirrors and there my pursuer remained. I kept up the slow pace for another two blocks. There he stayed. I tried a new tactic. I changed lanes. He changed. I sped up, he sped up. I turned right, he turned right. It was getting annoying and I started to get a little nervous. What if this guy has an anger management problem or a gun or a gang initiation to perform? What if I have a bounty out for my head and he is a bounty hunter? I called my friends who were waiting for me at the Subway a few blocks away and informed them of the situation and asked them to watch for me when I pulled in so this guy wouldn’t do anything he’d regret. I decided that I could handle some yelling and screaming, or even some swings, but I wasn’t in the mood for having to bust out my ninja skills to defend myself. The man followed me all the way to the restaurant (almost 5 miles) into the parking lot. I jumped out of my car and meandered to the doors at Subway waving to my friends. The man left (coward).
I have thought about this situation a lot over the past few days. We get ticked off way too easily in our society. If you ask me, it’s time to take a chill pill. Nothing good every comes from staling a stranger through the city. Even if you accomplish your goal, whether it be a kidnapping or a brawl, you always get what’s coming to you. The bad guys always get caught. It’s true… I saw it in the movies.
The ‘Helen Keller Date’ »« My Luck
nice one dude. This is why I am glad to be out of my galant and into the Daewoo. I can’t race no body. If there is road rage, it is simply because my car is so slow and that generally makes people in a hurry, a little mad.
And- once they really see I am in a Daewoo- they start laughing and are no longer mad.
-Jon Sanderson
I saw a license plate frame once that said, “The closer you get, the slower I go.” That is now my motto when driving. That’s what you get for tailgating…suckers.
