My Pathetic Dating Life… Here’s A Laugh For You

This weekend was going to be amazing. I was supposed to go on three awesome dates with three awesome girls. It’s been so long since I’ve actually been excited about going on a date that it was very hard to believe that I had three set up within just a few days of each other… and I was actually looking forward to each one. Now they are over, and here I sit at my computer at nearly 2:00 am on Sunday morning, utterly befuddled. Two of my three dates this week totally tanked. I’ve been trying to deduce the reason for such a low success rate (trust me, I had plenty of time to think about this… I spent the majority of my day in the car). Maybe it’s just me, but when a guy uses the phrase, “Do you want to be my date?” or offers to drive over 4 hours to see you, a little respect and maybe some personal attention may be in line. Two of my 3 dates ended up turning into a polygamist social event. Rather than having a nice evening with a girl, getting to know one another and having fun, I had to fight off packs of wild roommates and friends (mostly female) for a few minutes of attention from my supposed dates. What on God’s green earth is wrong with these girls!? Seriously! Do I have cooties or an uncanny resemblance to some infamous rapist? I don’t think I’m hard to get along with, or that I’m unbearably ugly. I like to think my mom taught me how to treat women with respect, and I’m creative enough to avoid the whole traditional dinner-and-a-movie date. I’m not a wife-hunter like so many Utah Valley guys are, and from what the married girls tell me, I am a ‘catch.’ If this is the case, why do my dates suck so bad!? Quite the conundrum. The funny thing is that the girls that provide me with these legendary dating experiences are probably the same girls who complain to their roommates and their mothers about how they never get asked out on dates, and that men don’t pay enough attention to them… how ironic.

Well, I’ve done my fair share of venting and complaining. I hate to shed such a negative light on dating. I mentioned that 2 of the 3 dates were crap. Well… that leaves 1 blissfully, perfectly enjoyable date. Last night was just what the doctor ordered. It was so utterly (not udder-ly) refreshing to go out with a girl who was interesting, sweet, thoughtful, happy, fun and just plain great (that list is highly underdeveloped). My issue now is that she had more dates this weekend than I did! Obviously it’s no secret that this girl is wonderful. I’m not saying that I’m going to marry this girl… or even that I’m going to date her steadily, but it’s about time that I find someone I actually want to take out more than once. I will obviously have to act quickly to get a second date out of her before some Provo All Star swoops in to snatch her away. Wish me luck on my one semi-success this week. Really… I’ll need it. If anyone knows of a beautiful girl (inside and out) who wants to be spoiled, held, loved, danced with, daydreamed about and straight up adored, let me know.

PS. Girls, leave your roomies at home! And God? Please let this portion of my life (the lonely part), otherwise known as your little practical joke, end soon…

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