The Bane of My Existence

A new fad that has been sweeping through Utah over the past year or two like a thick waft of lake stink. This activity is popular amongst youngsters in their early twenties, especially those that are rhythmically challenged or have a particularly poor taste in music. If you haven’t guessed by now, I’m referring to Country ‘Swing Dancing’.

I would like to emphasize that I only call it ‘Swing Dancing’ because that’s the term that the general public uses to describe it. If I had my way, we’d call it Country ‘Moving-To-Crappy-Music-While-Yanking-Girls-Arms-Out-Of-Their-
Sockets’. But I rarely get my way.

As a traditional swing dancer, one thing that really gets on my nerves is hearing people try to justify that Country ‘Swing’ is similar to regular Swing, or any other form of dance for that matter. The definition of Dance is, “to move one’s feet or body, or both, rhythmically in a pattern of steps, esp. to the accompaniment of music.” Judging by this definition, country dancing is NOT a form of dance.

What most people don’t understand is that Country Swing is so popular because anybody with arms can do it… and I mean ANYBODY. It requires no rhythm, no coordination, no musicality, no connection, no real steps and no prior experience. It doesn’t matter if a fast song or a slow song is playing, or if your partner is a cripple, you just spin in circles while holding hands, jerking your bodies at the apex of every arm stretch.

Some would justify Country ‘Swing’ by saying that the lifts involved take great skill and coordination, when in all reality they only require big muscles, a small female and the occasional disregard to personal space (the ladies know what I’m talking about… guys, you never have anyone lifting you over your head whilst holding onto your nether-reigions).

Real Swing (Lindy Hop, Charleston, Balboa, Shag, Blues etc.), on the other hand actually meets the guidelines and definitions of ‘Dance’. More importantly than that, as a general statement, regular Swing dancers – or should I say REAL Swing dancers – are a very friendly bunch and are normally very willing to help you learn to do what they do. Country Swing venues are full of the people who show up in the hopes of either finding a date or fondling a girl. Granted there are a lot of nice people who attend the Country Swing venues, but they are also highly saturated with the Plastics and the Sweet Bros trying to get a piece of one another.

Maybe the best way to prove my point is to just show you what I mean. Check out the following videos, and honestly let me know what you think.

Country Swing

Lindy Hop

Add to Technorati Favorites

  • http://www.ryanware.com/ Ryan

    I couldn’t agree more. To be fair to the would-be country swing dancing defenders, your country swing dance video is of amateurs and your lindy hop video is of professionals.

    Still though, country music and country swing both make me want to puke in my own mouth.

  • http://www.thebigbags.com Bags

    Ryan-

    Yes, I realize that the lindy hoppers are pros and the country swingers are not… but have you ever heard of a professional country swing dancer? That video was about as close I as I could get.

  • Karen

    They won’t ever do country swing on Dancing with the stars or so you think you can dance… therefore it is not dancing. End of story.

    hahahaha. Totally kidding. worst argument ever! but really, country swing is no bueno!

  • Mishimmy

    I’m all about keeping my arm in the socket. Call me crazy but I like my limbs intact. ;) Lindy Hop, ect… take time and skill. Country Swing takes a good health insurance plan and a fantastic physical therapist. Yes, Lindy Hop is frusterating to learn, but once you have it, you’ll NEVER want to go back to the other “swing” again.

  • http://re-viewingtheworld.blogspot.com grant

    okay, i don’t know a ton about country music, dance, or culture, but i gotta say this — hatin never gets us anywhere. well, hatin that arm-jerky stuff is cool, but don’t be inadvertently hatin on real country western swing dancing and music just cuz it’s outside your culture. more specifically if you’re hatin on country music, you’re hatin on ray charles. no body has enough clout to be hatin on ray.

  • http://www.thebigbags.com Bags

    Oh Grant, always the peacemaker.

  • CountrySwing

    I love how all your Lindy hop friends have commented on this post! You all are so biased towards Lindy hop or big band. That was the best video you could find!? Come on bags! Go type country swing into youtube and you will find tons of pro country swing videos. I think what you meant to say is that video was the best one that proved your irrational and biased point. I would imagine that amateur swing dancing is a lot like amateur country swing. Unless you are telling me everyone that goes swing dancing is not rhythmically challenged and don’t go to meet the opposite sex…If that is the case then I would have to assume everyone that goes to swing is a Michael Jackson wannabe (not rhythmically challenged and likes little boys). Haha Just kidding! Anyway for all those who are “search engine” challenged here are two videos of professional country swing (Yes it does exist).

    WARNING: For all you fanatical lindy hoppers this might be hard to watch. Your definition of swing might never be the same again. Please do not watch if you happen to believe country swing is not dancing.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kotd6CQF9Ds&feature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4oNj-CB_Us&NR=1

  • http://blog.permamentdaylight.org drfindley

    @countryswing … so I looked at your vids and still not that impressed. I’ll admit I’m really biased, but frankly it looks like the top of the body is disconnected with the bottom: that is lots of arm movements and just bouncing your feet. Those people dance with rhythm and such, I’ll give you that. It just doesn’t seem to involve the whole body. I don’t see how I could get into something that’s just a bunch of arm moves and bouncing.

  • http://www.ryanware.com/ Ryan

    Grant and CountrySwing are right. We ought not to confuse our dislike for the arm jerking with real country dancing. I still don’t like it, but that’s because I don’t like the music. :)

  • http://www.ryanware.com/ Ryan

    Oh, and there are plenty of terrible lindy hoppers who jerk arms just as much…

  • http://www.thebigbags.com Bags

    I agree, but that doesn’t make it any less enjoyable or easy to make fun of.

  • http://re-viewingtheworld.blogspot.com Grant

    @drfindley: That first clip is solid and also shows the occasional crossover between West Coast, Western Swing, DC Hand Dancing, and Carolina Shag. I’m not sure why you’re critical of that one.

    @CountrySwing: That second clip on the other hand seems like an amateur competition. Not too impressive.

    @people that don’t like country music: Watch out, if you didn’t have country, you wouldn’t have rock ‘n’ roll, besides the aforementioned RC. What d’y'all have to say about that?!

    =D

  • http://slightly-off-center.blogspot.com Cassie

    As to CountrySwing’s post: Is it just me, or are they actually doing East Coast in the second video? And the first clip is a good one to compare to the lindy clip- it’s a professional level of country swing dancing. But it’s boring. Country swing is just kind of gimmicky and simple. I wont go so far as to say that it’s not dancing. It’s just dancing for the untalented. Ooops,sorry, that was mean.

  • MK

    I don’t dance. Ever. And I have virtually no feelings about country music. But it’s clear to me that the Country Swing-ers are attempting to do one another harm. The Lindy Hop-ers somehow make all those strange movements appear perfectly natural and not dangerous at all. Country Swing seems to be dancing at each other rather than with each other.

  • http://www.extralimes.net/blog famousjay

    Nate, my friend, I’m with ya on the “Country sucks” thing. I am, however, guilty of participating in this ritual you so openly have a distaste for. You have a point on the one hand, but on the other, you just haven’t seen me do. I make it look good, you just have yet to experience it.