The Dark Knight Movie Review

I know that one of you (or maybe all two of you) has been anxiously awaiting a review of the new Batman movie written by yours truly.

I’m going to assume that you’ve already seen the movie due to the fact that it grossed over $158,000,000.00 in its opening weekend, and a number that high implies that roughly every human on earth saw it at least once within that 3 day span. So, if you haven’t seen it, and I say something that spoils the plot (like “Heath Ledger dies.”), it’s your own fault. You should have seen it this weekend like the rest of the human race did… including my pen pal from Zambia named Beenzu.

I’ve talked to lots of people about the movie. They all had the same general reaction. Most people thought it was ‘dark,’ or ‘intense,’ or just plain ‘evil.’ But personally, if I could choose one word to describe The Dark Knight, I think it would be ‘cute.’ I mean, honestly, what’s more adorable than grown men dressing up as clowns, scarecrows and bats, running around the street at night time with one another? Where I’m from, they call that Halloween. The only thing they were missing was my killer bumblebee costume from last year. (Nothing says evil villain like a bumblebee outfit.)

Ok, but really.

Back to the topic at hand… as always, I have to give props where props are due. Heath, even though I know you’re never going to read this because you’re dead and all, “YOU DA’ MAN!”

Honestly folks, I disagree with anyone who says that Heath Ledger played a great villain. I also disagree with them if they say he played the best villain. The character he played-this Joker he created-is not a villain… he is a monster. An absolute wretch escaped from the darkest corner of H-E-double hockey sticks. And it was indeed a spectacle to watch. It was not, however, my favorite part of the flick.

What was my favorite part, you ask? Well, dear reader, my favorite part had to be every part where Maggie Gyllenhaal replaced Katie Holmes with her believable, non-upstaging, un-sucktastic acting. Ok, so I made up a few words there… but man I am so glad that Katie Holmes got nixed from this film. I think it’s payment for her participation in that fake relationship to cover up Tom’s gayness… oh, and the whole conversion to Scientology thing.

Needless to say, I’m a fan. I like movies where Christian Bale plays a crazed billionaire who likes to dress up in a spandex bat costume and whisper secrets into criminals ears with the voice of an 80-year-old chain smoker.

I like movies featuring psychotic, disfigured clowns who have no conscience or morals and delight on reaping havoc on the innocent and defenseless people of Gotham (which isn’t a real place, by the way).

I like movies with Maggie Gyllenhaal.

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http://www.toweringintellect.com The Other Nate

I think my favorite part about Maggie Gyllenhall’s performance was the part where her character died. Cruel, I know, but seriously, anytime there’s a chick out there that knows your secret identity, you are a hero in peril.
http://www.whybatmanisbetterthansuperman.blogspot.com jefe

I couldn’t agree more about Katie holmes being cut. and i couldn’t agree more about The Charachter played by her and Maggie being killed off. OH and the reason I loved this movies is that people can finally see the more complex nature of comic books (and hence why they appeal to older audiences) and because people will start to see why i knwo that BATMAN is the best super hero. (aside from Jon who aparenlty will never understand).
Josh

Maggie G’s acting was good, but honestly (and this is going to sound really shallow) her ungoodlookingness was really distracting. Don’t get me wrong, Katie Holmes was an unequivocal disaster in Batman Begins, but Maggie G was not believable as the love interest of two of the most prominent figures in Gotham. Sorry, Mags. I didn’t need Angie Jolie, I just needed someone attractive enough that I didn’t have to think about how she looked.

Count me as one who wasn’t enthralled with the increased violence of this film. I get that’s how it is with a sinkhole like the Joker. I didn’t hate the movie, but I left the theater thinking to myself, “I wish they hadn’t tried so hard to make this such a gritty movie.”

I’m also glad they killed off Two Face, because he was a very shallow villian compared to the Joker and that would be a lame follow-up conflict after what we just witnessed.

My question for this franchise is, “What’s next?” What can they do more? I think they might have hit the ceiling with this one because it was such a full-throttle production. No villian will be remotely interesting now that we’ve seen Ledger’s Joker, and they can’t bring him back even though technically the character is still alive. They’ll try to make another movie, but prepared to be disappointed by it.
http://www.athenadawn.blogspot.com Athena

Well I’m going to have to comment on this one. I am one of the very few who choose not to see the film. 1-because of my terrible phobia of clowns and jokers and 2-because I think these movies are just sick. The things that they do in them is usually pretty realistic and in my opinion I think its giving all those creeps out there ideas. Now I’m not saying you should see it or not, but I just think a show that was so sick and demented that it drove a guy crazy enough to kill himself is enough to make me not want to see it. Just my opinion.
Lil Sis

Thank you Athena!! All I can say is ditto.
http://www.thebigbags.com Bags

Wait, who killed themselves?
Jonathan Adams

Welp. I’m planning on going to see this tonight. I know, i know, it’s crazy that i’ve waited this long. I mean my brother’s already seen it 3 times. But i’m going. And I can add your review to the other giant stack of reviews i’ve received from friends that tells me that i definitely need to see it. Thanks for the review man.